literature

The Normal Life

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AkashasDreamworld's avatar
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Literature Text

He had forgotten how good it looked on him. Domenic was wearing his elegant suit, the one he had bought a few years back for his sister's wedding. He had never gotten to wear it.
The suit had cost him a lot, and he was glad that it still fit him as perfectly as it had when he bought it. Looking at himself in the mirror he corrected his tie once more with satisfaction. For another moment or so he looked at his reflection, unsure if he was arrogant or if this feeling of empowerment was normal. Domenic was surprised when he caught himself smiling, and he quickly turned away.
His new shoes still smelled of unused leather as he put them on. Not more than a week ago he had bought them for himself, after deciding it was time for a change. Domenic had told no one about his decision, which made it even more special.
Grinning, and with growing anticipation, he took his work equipment and stepped outside. As the door fell shut on his spacious apartment he let out a small, satisfied sigh before walking over to the elevator.
"Good morning deary.", a small feeble voice called to him as he was pressing the button. Without looking Domenic replied: "Good morning Miss Hallaway."
Just as the elevator door opened a small, bent old lady appeared next to him and, being a gentleman, he let her step in first. After he pressed the button for ground floor he turned to her and smiled.
"I made some cookies this morning, those raisin ones dear Miranda loves.", the lady said. "She's always so happy when I visit her, and she loves my raisin cookies."
"Are you visiting her today?", Domenic asked as his eyes darted to the red glowing sign above the door. It read the number six.
"Oh yes, I am. After I check my mail of course, I might have received something important."
"That's nice."
The clicking and rattling of the elevator relaxed Domenic, but at the same time it made him anxious. Miss Hallaway hadn't said anything about his suit yet, maybe it was a bad idea after all. In a matter of seconds a thousand questions and doubts and regrets ran through his mind. Domenic swallowed and looked to his feet. The shoes had been a bad idea as well.
"Oh and deary, I made you some as well.", her voice interrupted his growing despair. Surprised he looked at her happily squinted eyes. She took his hand and plopped a small bag into his palm. From it rose the warm smell of fresh cookies.
The doors opened as he was about to thank her, and with his mouth still open to reply she wobbled past him. With unsure steps he followed her, and helped her get her mail out from one of the top boxes, as was his usual morning routine. When Domenic turned around the lady smiled and shook her head at him.
"She is a lucky one.", the old lady muttered. "Seeing how you dressed so nicely for her."
A grin touched his lips as he denied. "I don't have time for those things. I … just needed a change you see."
"Yes… Well, that ragged cloak was so old, I think you made a good choice.", she concluded.
Domenic said a quick goodbye then and, with regained confidence, strode across the lobby. He sighed once more as he stepped through the glass doors onto the empty pavement.
The air outside was nice and cool and not yet filled with too many noises. A shy sun turned the sky a luscious pink. Domenic swung his scythe over his shoulder and began whistling a tune.  
It was indeed a nice day to die.
Why should he be a bad guy?


-Avy
© 2013 - 2024 AkashasDreamworld
Comments20
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Laeneris's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

To start with your question: Exactly - why should he? I've certainly never read a story in which the grim reaper (or so I assume) gives us insight in his daily life.

I never thought he would have a sister, either, but once again - why not? I wonder what happened to her, since he never got to wear the suit. Was he too late? Did something terrible happen to her? You could give the story a little boost by placing a hint about the fate of his sister and her wedding.
I like his characterization in this story a lot, but what I liked best was that you only gave a few hints as to his job until right before the ending. We could've thought he was anyone or anything, a truly ordinary person, but we don't learn the truth until the end. I thought that was clever and I liked it. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>

Domenic seems to switch between feeling confident and being unsure about himself. While I think it added to his personality and gave me an opportunity to view him as a 'normal' guy, it did feel a bit off to have him switch between those states without any real prompts to do so. Or perhaps I just can't imagine the grim reaper being self-conscious about his clothing. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)"/>

The sweet old lady was a nice touch, too. I did think that was a little bit cliché, since old ladies are often portayed as this, especially with the cookies. Personally I would've liked to see Domenic do something cool at the end, like striding through hell instead of a quiet place, ignoring pleas around him. That would've made the story as a whole more interesting to me. But that's just a thought! It's fine as is, really. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>

Would Domenic happen to mean 'Demonic' with two letters switched, or was that just accidental? <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>

Either way, that's all! I'm looking forward to reading your next works. Good luck on killing that writer's block - it seems this piece has already helped you! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="15" height="15" alt=":aww:" title="Aww"/>

Peace out. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/p/p…" width="15" height="15" alt=":peace:" title="Peace"/>